Waterfalls and going Out wit dA girlz

So... I have my best friend, S, who's been my best friend since we were 10 years old. And yes, we just click that well. And I don't know if she's so much my best friend as much as she's kind of like another sister of mine. But the best thing about her is that not only is she like a sister, but we click so well together that she's a sister with whom I never fight. So... it's the best of both worlds. She is great. And you know how when people get older they change? And so often if you date someone when you are 15 or 16, you're not likely to be with them when you're 25, just because people change. And when you grow older your personalities develop and you become who you are. And we've both grown up and we've both changed, but we've changed together in a way that we are both compatible with each other still. Do you see what I'm saying? You know, it's weird. She was the exact opposite of me in high school and now I've become what she was in high school and she's become more like how I was in high school. That's how I see it, in any case. But anyway, we've changed, and yet we haven't. We're still who we were. Different somehow, but .... I dunno. Weird how that works out.

So if I were to say that I have two best friends, one male and one female, she'd be my best female friend, and my best male friend would be someone that I shall refer to as 'E'. Now E has been mad at me lately (I can't imagine he'd like to see that I'm putting this in my blog. There's probably a lot of stuff I shouldn't be putting in here...), and... yeah, I can kind of see why. But well... my sister asked me tonight (my older sister is also a friend of his, and she also talks to him fairly regularly.) why he was mad at me. Because it was apparent. And I knew. I could tell yesterday when I talked to him that he was not in a terrific mood to begin with and maaaaaaaaaan did I make it worse. By the end of our conversation yesterday I think he was quite peeved with me. Today I signed onto AIM and just as I signed on he signed right off. Hmmmm... coincidence? Perhaps not. So why is he mad at me? Well... for a few reasons. I don't think any to be really mad at me. Well first off, I know he's been working overtime, and working weekends a lot lately, and that hasn't helped his mood. He's been robbed of his living room and has two other people living with him now that he's not happy about. He's been feeling really sick lately. And to make it worse, he's talking to me and I'm just saying things to annoy him. Not intentionally. But for example, he was talking about going to Vegas and mentioned that he went to celebrate his brother's 30th bday. Okay, cool. Fine. So I wrote something along the lines of 'So did you go for any special reason?" (and I meant, in addition to his brother's bday. Because, why Vegas of all places? I mean, was there something else that factored into the decision?), but I think he took it the wrong way, first thinking that I wasn't paying attention to what he just said by saying "Hello!!!!!!! I just said it was to celebrate my brother's bday." and then took 'special' the wrong way, saying "And I think going for his 30th bday is special enough." And that's not what I meant... I didn't mean it to come out that way. But then I asked him if he was planning on getting a place with his gf (they've been dating for a year and things seem to be going as well as they were when they first started dating), and he responded in capitals "HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" ooooooh. Ooooookay then. But I think most of all he was annoyed with me because I was talking about how hot Brazilian women are and I was... well okay, here's the story. A friend of mine from Northern France emailed me and said "Please join this" (it's some online chatting forum type of thing where people post their pics and their profiles and meet up with friends and chat about different things... it's actually nice for meeting new friends around the world.) Anyway, he wanted me to join because he was introduced to it via his Brazilian friends who live in France, but he signed up for it and noticed that while it's completely an international chatting thing, MOST of the forums are all in Portuguese because it seems like the Brazilians have dominated it. So he wanted me to sign up so that he didn't feel like the only francophone (because he doesn't know any portuguese, and his Brazilian friends, while they speak french, they have a ton of other Brazilian friends there to talk to, so they're not talking a lot in french). Sooooooooo I signed up for it. He calls us the Adam and Eve of the french-speaking world on that chat forum. So anyway anyway anyway. I signed up and I was looking at the pics of his friends that they'd posted of themselves and I was thinking "Noooo wayyyyy." Because they all looked like models and so I thought that they were just posting pics of models up. ...And then I looked at more and more pics, because some of them have posted multiple pics of themselves with friends, family, etc. And no, that's actually how they look. It's ridiculous. Wtf. So I was whining to E about how crazy jealous I am and that Brazilian women are by far the hottest and it's not fair, blah blah blah. And so I sent him some pics and he agreed that yes, they were, indeed, hot. He even thought that some were models, too. I think one of them must've been. Her pics looked professionally done. Anyway, but then he said that while they are hot, some of them that I thought were really attractive really weren't all that special and he thinks that my judgment is blinded by my obsession with Brazil and everything Brazilian. Which... is not true! Please. The long, straight, dark, dark hair, with light golden tans and dark eyes? Isn't it obvious? But I don't know. I think he's been mad at me because I talk too much about Brazil and portuguese and stuff of the sort and perhaps it's because he thinks that I've changed. Well... obv. I have. But it's like I'm not the same girl he knew me to be because I've been taken over by this ... obsession. And it's annoying and it's disappointing. Someone who could fall so easily into this obsession over nothing special. It's a weakness, really. I feel like Dido. She was beautiful and regal and respected and had the regards of all of her people. She was power. And then Aeneas came along and she became a sad, pathetic little waif. And she cared too much about Aeneas and became consumed by her love for him and all regality, all power, all respect that she had vanished with whatever pride and dignity she'd had in the first place. She was not the Dido they knew and loved. She'd fallen. She'd changed. She'd become weak. Worthless, really. Anyway, obviously I'm not quite to her extent. Because certainly it's not a love as much as it is, perhaps, a childish infatuation. In any case, whatever respect he'd had for me for the person that I was has fallen....notches and notches and notches because I've become someone who is not myself. Someone consumed by this drug. And I think that's why he's mad at me. I could be wrong.

Okay, I was just going to change subjects now, but I would like to comment just a little further on that note. I agree with him and see why he might be mad at me. I can see how he might have lost some respect or look at me differently. I think it's fair for him to feel that way. Because I know that it has gotten out of hand, and the sad part is that it is all in vain. He knows it, I know it, everyone knows it. Everyone knows it's all in vain. It's gotten out of hand and we all see it and know it. I know it and yet I cannot do anything about it. I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Falling down down down. It's like I've gone for a swim and a tide pulled me under and I'm under the water and I'm drowning and at the top of the water are my friends and family crowding around, giving me their hands, trying, wanting to pull me out. And I know I want to be pulled out. I know drowning is bad, because, ultimately, it will only lead to death. And yet... I cannot give them my hand. My body has become paralyzed in the icy cold waters and I cannot move to give them my hand. And only one of two things will free me from the cold grip of the deadly waters: either my mind will overcome my body and do this one last burst of energy and I will, determined to live, move my arm enough to reach out and grab onto the extended hands of my friends and family, OR, the icy cold waters will loosen their grip around me because they've decided that, unwilling to fight against the paralysis, I've become uninteresting and unworthy of death. Who wants to have a boring soul hang around? The waters will focus their energy and grip on more interesting subjects and I will be forgotten and released.

Okay, cut the symbolism and metaphors, babe, it's getting old.

NEXT SUBJECT!

Went out with my little brother. We went to the beach, decided it was boring and then headed out to the country to hit up some obscure waterfalls. Yesssssss!!! We got there, and the water was really nice. The waterfalls are in the middle of nowhere. You have to walk to get to them and they are in this dark park, crowded with trees. Trees, trees, trees, and sunlight only in few spots. So we walked up the stream, in the middle of the water, dancing along to the sun rays. We climbed up the waterfalls (and decided it was a bad idea) so continued along until we got to this big pool of water at the bottom of this one waterfall. There was no one there other than us. We waded in the water, skipped stones, were splashing each other with water and messed with the delicate wall of shale. We moved out of the water to bask in the warmth of the sun (have to take advantage of it before winter rolls around again. Less than 90 days 'til snow!!!). We were talking to each other and heard a loud 'pchunk'. This HUUUUUGE mass of rock from the wall just fell and landed in the water where we were standing not two minutes earlier. His eyes widen and he says "We could've been killed if that happened two minutes ago!!!" Yes, I've never seen that. And I was trying, unwisely, to scale that wall earlier. But, looking back on it. I can only imagine what people must've thought if they'd heard us. They'd have heard "Noooo, you're getting my butt wet!" "What, sick Child of Darkness?" "Ah! It's a dead deer and a cow skull. Oh death, it just reeks of death!!!" "What are you talking about? That's not a skull, it's a piece of wood." "Snap! Oh, Snap!" "What?" "Why is there a pair of men's underwear on the rocks here..? Ummm..." And then we got some ice cream. Rather, I got ice cream, because I asked him if he wanted any and he insisted he didn't (what? how can I poison something that I don't even touch???). And we went to this store that we haven't been to in yearrrrrrrrs. Cute store. And then on the way home, driving through the mountains, I was playing Blind Melon-No Rain, Counting Crows-Mr Jones, Matchbox 20 and Pearl Jam, and he'd never heard of ANY OF THE SONGS. And then I felt really old so I cried the whole way home. And this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy cried 'wee wee wee' all the way home. What?!?!?! Anyway, kidding. If you think I'd cry over my brother not recognizing songs then you guys are grossly mistaken. :-P

So this evening/night I went out with my girls for the first time in lord even KNOWWWWWWWWWS how long. No seriously, I don't even remember how long it's been. We went to one place and each got margaritas. I got an original, S+ got a strawberry, and S- got a raspberry. (The +/- indicates age) And we were hottttt little numbers. Oooh! But when aren't we? ;-) So we were messing around with S-. And S+ said that S- has to be our wingman and take one for the team. S- :"Umm what are you talking about? What extent are we talking about here?" S+ :"Well if a group of 3 guys come up and two are cute and one's really nasty you need to preoccupy the nasty one while we hit it up with the cute ones." S- : "Please, there are never two cute guys with one nasty one. It's always two nasty ones with one cute one or two cute ones with two nasty ones." S+ :"Well okay then, you preoccupy the two nasty ones while we hit it up with the cute ones." S- :"Whaaaaat?!?!" S+ :"Yeah, so if someone like the guy who took our order at the bar is with two other cute guys..." S- :"Ohhhhh no. No WAY! He was so gross! I wouldn't even talk to him!" S+ :"Nooo! You'd have to!" S- :"No!"

So eventually we leave and decide to go somewhere else. S- lights up a cigarette as we are walking along the street to our next destination. S+ :"What?!?! Put that away! You are bringing us downnnn!" S- :"What?" S+ :"It's true. That's so dirty. If any guys were to even look at us they'd see you smoking and then just completely lose interest." S- :"I only smoke when I drink." S+ :"Bringing us dowwwwn! How are we supposed to get any guys? Psh! We should've left you at home." We get to our next destination and whoaaaaaaa I know the bartender!!! So I slide up to the nearest free seat, say, "Hey there, baby!" and wink at him. And of course he was like "Oh my gosh I haven't seen you in so loooong!!!" And he gives me a hug over the bar, and was smiling and pointing and nodding. And I'm thinking 'wtf.' Until S- pads my skirt down. Apparently when I was leaning forward over the bar somehow the back of my skirt puffed up and you could see down it a little bit (the bartender was tall and I was leaning over to hug him), and so I guess he got a glimpse of my panties (which is really embarrassing!!!!!). So we sat and chatted with him for a while and then just started talking to everyone. S+ says to S- "Oh my god, put that ring away!!! You are deterring the guys! The last thing they want to see is an engagement ring on a finger!!!" S- :"They don't actually look at fingers." S+: "Yes they do! They see girls they're interested in and the first thing they do it look at the hand." S- :"Well I'm not taking this off." S+ :"You're bringing us downnnnnnn!!!!"

We go outside, and S+ makes a comment: "I cannot date guys unless they are hot. If they are not hot then I won't date them." S- :"That's really superficial." S+ :"It may be, but what can I say?" (told ya' I would put this in here.) I mention that my ex bf #3 keeps callllllllllling me to hang out and I haven't been calling him back because we all know exactly why he's calling me (he would like some chemchyck booty before he never has access to it again). But seriously. Um, no. He's kind of gross. He's really slutty. If ever I dated a slutty boy, man, would bf #3 take the cake. Especially after his last little scuba diving vacation in Mexico. Yeahhhhh. Think I might want to stay away from that to avoid a few STDs. Thanks. Anyway, then I said, "Besides, I refuse to sleep with anyone, because ladies, I am a married woman." They both give me this 'uh huh' look and S- says: "To who? ...Oh wait, Brush-Off guy, right?" and I say "yes." And S+ says "But what is your thing with him? You can only be interested in him because he's hot." "No, I really like his personality. I think he's got a really nice personality." and they both chime in, "Yeah, because guys with great personalities never call you back, stand you up, call you two hours in advance to cancel, make up every excuse in the book not to meet with you, and brush you off 100 times." "Well. Besides that. He has a really nice personality." "What? No, you just like him because you think he's hot." Blah.

Spider crawls in S-'s hair and she starts screaming bloody murder. The whole way home she keeps stopping and tossing her hair all about, saying that she feels the spider. "Dude, it's not there anymore. I got rid of it." "I can feel it! It probably laid 100 eggs in my hair!!!!" "It did not!" "How do you know?" "Because it was a male!" "How do you know it was a male?" "Well it was only this big. And it was white-ish clear and nasty ugly." "EWWWW OH MY GOD THAT'S SO GROSS!!!!!!!" (I'm such an instigator, I love it)

And thus ends the night. That's a SEVERLY shortened version of what happened. But let it suffice to say that we had our fun. Oh, indeed, we did. ;-)

Aaaaaaand now I need to wake up in 3½ hours. So, rock on! But this gold dust woman is hitting the hay.




...omg, dad?